


tied to the shifting ground

by chatsdelune (greymooses)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, OH RIGHT SMUT TAGS, Red String of Fate, Shower Sex, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, m for ch 2, side minhyuk/jooheon if you squint, they get a CAT don't touch me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22064386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greymooses/pseuds/chatsdelune
Summary: in their year of living together, changkyun has learned a number of things about chae hyungwon, but only three of them are especially important to him:1. chae hyungwon cannot see the thread that connects them.2. chae hyungwon does not sleep like a normal person.3. chae hyungwon sleeps best next to changkyun when he’s composing.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Im Changkyun | I.M
Comments: 21
Kudos: 220





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't touch me i wrote this in a few hours bc of [this photo](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ENKFBr2XsAABH_0.jpg) and idk what my life is rn. title is from [clearest blue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZyzX4c1vIs&list=OLAK5uy_kS2akDPp2hvvFwWPdSxf-fqrfW24LO4EE) by chvrches, album was basically my writing soundtrack if you're into that.

_ 1:15 am, 11 november _

changkyun reaches across his body and carefully moves the head of pink hair further back on his shoulder, straightening the owner’s neck. he stretches his arms out in front of him, the light from his laptop screen catching the glimmering, red thread tied around his finger. it hangs from his hand and runs across his folded legs, terminating on the finger of the man sleeping next to him.

he reaches under his glasses to rub the exhaustion out of his eyes, and hits play to listen to his progress. at the first chorus, the man — in his sleep — slinks further down the couch so he can rest his head on changkyun’s thigh, next to the thread. changkyun absentmindedly strokes the pink hair away from his forehead and tries to figure out what his song is missing.

_ one year ago, september _

"they said there’s nothing they can do," changkyun whines, approaching the table where his best friend and fellow music major waits for him.

"i’m sorry, changkyunnie," jooheon says, pouting on changkyun’s behalf. "maybe your roommate will be cool. and if not, you can always come hang out with me and minhyuk."

"thanks, hyung."

changkyun looks again at the paper he was handed — _puzzle 301 - chae hyungwon_ — and sighs.

"i wonder what he’s studying," jooheon muses. "that’s not a music dorm."

"i got the paperwork in too late and they ran out of room."

"at least you have a place to live? it’s better than sleeping on a bench somewhere and dragging your equipment around in a shopping cart," jooheon jokes.

"yeah, i guess," changkyun agrees. "i should go," he adds, swinging his bag over his head. "one of the teaching assistants was nice enough to let me keep my stuff in a supply closet but he made me swear i’d pick it up as soon as i had the room thing sorted."

"do you need help?"

"nope. i’ll call you later. wish me luck."

"i’m sure he’ll be perfectly normal and not at all homicidal, changkyunnie!" jooheon calls as he walks away.

changkyun smirks, despite himself. jooheon is good at that.

\-----

with his equipment retrieved, changkyun makes his way across campus to his new dorm. his little finger aches, like something is pulling it, and he rubs at it subconsciously.

at his building, he punches the button for the elevator that will take him to the third floor. he sends a text message to his mother while he waits, letting her know he finally has a place to sleep and receive the rest of his belongings. he packed exactly two days of clothes, so "please send the boxes as soon as you can," he asks her.

he reaches 301 and takes out his key, but he’s not sure what the proper protocol is. it’s his room now, but should he just barge in? does this hyungwon person know he’s coming? is he even there? changkyun’s knuckles hover over the wood of the door while he considers his options.

he finally decides to knock, but the door opens suddenly, causing him to jump. the man on the other side of the door blinks sleepily, lips wrapped around the straw of his coffee cup.

"chae hyungwon?"

he’s _tall_ , almost a whole head taller than changkyun, and lean. he’s wearing an oversized sweater and beat up converse and black skinny jeans that hug every centimeter of skin they’re covering. his hair is an unnatural, dark fuschia that he is, infuriatingly, pulling off.

changkyun wonders if he somehow injured his finger in the storage closet and didn’t notice, because it hurts. is it possible he didn’t notice?

"yeah?" the man replies.

"i’m your new roommate. i wasn’t sure if i should knock or just use the key they gave me."

hyungwon blinks at him again before stepping into the hall, leaving the doorway clear for changkyun to enter.

"i have practice, but make yourself at home," hyungwon tells him. "i’ll be back in—" he raises his wrist to check his watch, and changkyun sees it: red thread around his finger, gently floating in the air between the two of them. "—two hours? we can chat then."

that explains the ache in his own finger, he supposes. hyungwon doesn’t seem to notice it.

"i'll be here," changkyun says.

hyungwon strolls away, turning to wave briefly at him as he goes.

_ 2:08 am, 11 november _

"wonnie," changkyun whispers. he closes his laptop and the head in his lap shifts at the sound of the magnet catching.

"mm. done?" hyungwon croaks.

"for now."

"okay," he says, uncurling himself and sitting up, eyes still closed.

changkyun pushes the table away with his feet and stands from the couch, yawning. he stretches his arms behind his back and rolls his shoulders to dissolve some of the tension that comes from not being able to move the way he wants to when hyungwon sleeps on him.

it happens more often than not. in their year of living together, he has learned a number of things about chae hyungwon, but only three of them are especially important to him:

1\. chae hyungwon cannot see the thread that connects them.  
2\. chae hyungwon does not sleep like a normal person.  
3\. chae hyungwon sleeps best next to changkyun when he’s composing.

changkyun figures he needs as much rest as possible solely to allow his body to heal itself. sacrificing some of his own comfort for the sake of his soulmate’s physical health seems like an acceptable loss.

he does wonder, though — in light of the thread — if it’s the music or _him_ that coaxes hyungwon to sleep.

_ one year ago, september _

changkyun opens facetime and calls jooheon, leaving his phone on the dresser on the empty side of the room. he tosses his bag of clothes and toiletries on the bed, along with his messenger bag, and is about to start unpacking his equipment when jooheon picks up.

"changkyunnie! you’re not dead yet?"

"i don’t think he could kill me even if he wanted to, hyung," changkyun tells him. "he’s my soulmate."

"he’s your _what_?"

"i don’t think he can see the thread, but it was definitely there."

"speaking of not seeing things, where the hell are you?" jooheon asks. "why did you facetime me to make me stare at the ceiling?"

"habit, i guess," changkyun shrugs to himself. "i’m in my room. i got here as he was leaving for practice."

"sports?"

"he didn’t say, but he doesn’t look like a sporty person. he barely looked like an alive person, to be honest."

"i need to run, but we need to get together later this week so you can tell me _everything_. bring pictures, okay?"

changkyun rolls his eyes. "i’ll do what i can."

\-----

hyungwon returns later that day with a new coffee and his hair pushed back off his forehead.

"hey, roomie," he greets. "where’s all your stuff?"

"my parents are going to send it. i kind of made the decision to come here at the last second and didn’t…" he trails off when hyungwon walks into the bathroom and shuts the door. "okay," he mutters to himself.

the shower turns on and changkyun sits on his bed, stunned. "what the fuck just happened?" he wonders out loud. he’d think he imagined hyungwon coming in entirely if not for the shimmering thread visible around his finger — something he can only see when hyungwon is nearby, he deduces, since it was gone when hyungwon was.

"interesting," he mutters.

\-----

"he’s _hot_ ," jooheon gasps.

"i hadn’t really noticed," changkyun confesses in between french fries.

"are you serious? how do you not notice?" jooheon asks, his eyes widening.

changkyun shrugs. "he doesn’t sleep."

"neither do you."

"no, i mean i’ve literally never seen him sleep and he always has coffee."

"huh," jooheon says. "maybe he’s a demon."

"i’m sure that’s the most plausible explanation," changkyun agrees.

"so i asked my mom about the thread thing," jooheon starts, and changkyun pretends he didn’t almost choke on his burger. "she said sometimes people can’t see it if they’re not open to the idea of love. i don’t know what that means for you, but i thought you should know."

"so my soulmate doesn’t just not want a relationship with me, he doesn’t want one with anyone," changkyun clarifies. "excellent," he adds, sarcasm dripping from the word.

jooheon doesn’t reply, taking a few bites of his burger and playing through a level of a mobile game before he catches changkyun completely off guard. "that hoodie is way too big for you," he says, suspicious.

"my stuff still isn’t here," changkyun explains, hanging his head as he feels his ears heat up. "it’s hyungwon’s."

jooheon’s eyes go wide again. "your hot soulmate let you borrow clothes and he can’t see your thread. damn, that sucks."

"he’s a dancer, by the way."

_ 2:56 am, 11 november _

changkyun can’t sleep. he’s willing to bet hyungwon can’t sleep, too, because he has a _feeling_. he gets out of bed and follows the thread that falls at his side, leading the way around the corner from his own room and disappearing under the closed door of hyungwon’s room. he raps his knuckles lightly against the door.

"kyunnie? come in."

changkyun cracks the door open and slips into the darkness, shutting it behind him to keep the cold air that resides in their hallway out of hyungwon’s room.

thing number twenty-one he learned about chae hyungwon: he is always cold.

"you can’t sleep," changkyun says simply.

"that’s not new," hyungwon replies.

he’s curled up in his bed, folded into a fetal position that creates an optical illusion that he’s tiny that changkyun, to this day, doesn’t understand.

"i can’t, either," changkyun confesses, approaching the bed and climbing behind hyungwon’s legs to sit with his back against the wall.

hyungwon, as if pulled by some invisible force — or maybe the thread, like a puppet — sits and repositions so his head is in changkyun’s lap. he drapes one arm across changkyun’s lap, pulls his own legs to his chest, and hums sleepily.

the thread coils itself like a content cat taking a nap in a patch of afternoon sun. changkyun watches it, resting his hand on hyungwon’s side. he feels his roommate’s breathing even out under his hand and lets himself sink against the wall, relief and exhaustion finding their way into his bones.

_ five months ago, june _

"how would you feel about getting a place off campus with me next year?" hyungwon asks one afternoon. "we could have doors and a real kitchen."

"you and me?" changkyun asks, attempting to hide his surprise at a very unexpected question.

"yeah?" hyungwon replies, unsure of himself. "i usually like having my own space, but i haven’t minded having you in it. probably because you’re so short i barely realize you’re there unless i’m looking down," he deadpans.

"if i agree, does that mean more or less jokes about my height going forward?" changkyun asks, rolling his eyes.

hyungwon hums in thought. "same number, most likely."

changkyun lets out an exaggerated sigh, solely for effect, because of course he’s going to move off campus with his soulmate. "okay, fine."

"we need a nice couch," hyungwon decides, glancing at his watch. "i have a few hours before practice. let’s go pick out furniture, kkukkungie."

_ 8:17 am, 11 november _

changkyun wakes up with a painful knot in the back of his neck. his leg doesn’t wake up with him, likely courtesy of the pink-haired head drooling on his thigh.

hyungwon's fingers twitch — a sign that he's waking up — and changkyun frowns at the way it makes the thread dance and unwind, shimmering in the morning light that creeps into the room behind hyungwon’s dark curtains.

he's wondered before if hyungwon will ever realize what's right in front of his face. what happens if he meets someone, only to find out his soulmate has been there all along? would he be disappointed? would they never speak again? changkyun doesn't know what he would do with any of those outcomes except write some of the saddest songs imaginable, with no one for them to lull to sleep.

"kkukkungie," hyungwon whines, "stop playing with my finger."

changkyun panics, looking down at his lap where his hands are definitely not touching hyungwon's, but notices the thread pulling taut, shortened between their fingers. he swallows, hard, and a thousand thoughts swirl in his head but only one matters: hyungwon can feel it.

"hyungwon," he says quietly, "open your eyes, noodle."

"don’t wanna."

"i need you to… please, wonnie," changkyun pleads. "i’m not touching your finger. please open your eyes."

changkyun can tell when he does, because there’s a small gasp.

"oh," hyungwon whispers. "look at that." he holds his hand up, making the thread stretch and tangle in the air.

"you can see it."

"how long…" hyungwon tries, breathless.

"since the first time we met," changkyun replies. "i could feel it before i even saw you. thought i hurt my finger when i was getting my stuff out of the storage closet in the music building."

hyungwon rolls onto his back and reaches behind his head to take changkyun’s hand. he entwines their fingers and holds their hands in front of his face. the thread shortens again, leaving more around their fingers than between them.

"i didn’t know," hyungwon tells him.

"jooheon said you couldn’t see it because you weren’t open to it," changkyun says, ears heating up. "love, i mean."

"i wasn’t," hyungwon says, holding changkyun’s hand in both of his and playing with his fingers.

"wonder what changed," changkyun drones.

hyungwon tilts his head back to look up at him, wholly unimpressed. it’s insulting, in a way, since he’s the one that took over a year to realize they were meant to be together.

"you let me dream, changkyun," he says, shrugging his shoulders. "your music, but also _you_ , apparently."

"apparently," changkyun agrees.

hyungwon plays with the thread where it hangs above his face. "you’re aware this means you’re never sleeping alone again, right?"

changkyun nods, running his free hand lightly through hyungwon’s hair. "one less joke about my height per week and i’m yours."

hyungwon rolls his eyes, drops changkyun’s hand, and raises himself up on his elbow. he leans forward and kisses changkyun, chaste and brief but it feels like home and changkyun never wants it to end.

"same number of height jokes per week and i’ll be the perfect boyfriend," hyungwon tells him, grinning.

"we’re _soulmates_ , isn’t that cheating?"

hyungwon swings his legs out of bed and stands, turning back to the bed to grab changkyun’s hand again, tugging on it like a small child that wants to go to the toy store. "we need showers, soulmate," he sighs, his bored tone betrayed by the urgency in his physical actions, "and breakfast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder to everyone that [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmHoPhh82jQ&ab_channel=MONSTAX) choreo video exists, thanks.
> 
> i'm literally in the middle of ch 5 of lfb and idk what the hell this is but i knew i could bang it out in one night and it demanded to be real so here we are, feeding the hyungkyun tag with something that isn't kyun/everyone. hopefully everything is clear enough and my brain was able to make it make sense hahaha. happy new year, everyone.


	2. two months later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh... happy birthday, hyungwon? i love my noodle prince and this has been bugging me so here we are. listened to chvrches again. [graffiti](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDSVLQoPc8w), mostly. this is quite possibly the softest thing i have ever written.
> 
> same general style as the first little oneshot with the non-linear thing, but the timelines are shifted like 2 or 3 months later. m rating is earned right at the beginning hahaha writing smut is the worst. >.<

_ 8:57 pm, 14 january _

showers are sacred.

showers are calming.

showers are where changkyun can turn his brain off and let his ideas flow freely, ricocheting around inside his head like the water droplets that bounce from his skin to the walls and floor around him.

or at least they used to be, before his soulmate realized they were soulmates and changkyun found out hyungwon really, _really_ enjoys shower sex.

strike that: hyungwon really, _really_ enjoys any sex.

changkyun throws his head back against the wall and groans in frustration.

"i had almost solved my— _fuck_ —bridge," he pants.

hyungwon hums around his dick. it feels like "sorry."

changkyun twists his fingers into his boyfriend's hair, wet and slicked back from his forehead. he's kept it pink for a while now, but hasn't retouched it recently, leaving dark roots that, for some fucking reason, drive changkyun about as crazy as the lazy circles his tongue is making around the head of cock.

"fuck, i don't know whether i love you or hate you right now," he grits out between clenched teeth. hyungwon flattens his tongue and he sighs.

he looks down. hyungwon locks eyes with him, the corner of his mouth twitches, and changkyun knows he made a mistake. he braces his hands against the wall just as hyungwon sinks all the way down, swallowing as he goes, letting changkyun's cock slide into his throat.

his stomach tightens and he moans, louder than he should in a room that echoes and shares a wall with a neighbor.

hyungwon whimpers below him, melodic and beautiful over the beat of the water. he feels a tap on his thigh — permission — and he's so thankful and so close he could fucking cry. he bucks his hips, fucking his boyfriend's mouth until sparks pool behind his eyes and in his pinky and his gut, until he feels himself topple over the edge, panting and muttering foul words in multiple languages, hips stuttering to a pause with his cock fully buried, every pulse feeling like fireworks going off under his skin.

as he comes down, he realizes hyungwon's left hand is gripping his right, twisting their fingers together impatiently. he pulls hyungwon up from the floor, throws his arms around his neck, and kisses him hard.

hyungwon whimpers again, from somewhere in the back of his throat, and changkyun wants to bottom out in his ass in the worst way because he can almost hear the solution to his bridge, if only hyungwon would make more noise, but that's a rare thing to happen with his practice schedule the way it is.

changkyun puts the brakes on their kiss, deepening it instead, and runs his hands from hyungwon's neck down the toned muscles in his back, trailing his fingers around his waist. hyungwon shivers, changkyun can hear it in the way he breathes through his nose, and whines when changkyun finally wraps a hand around him.

he never once considered having a soulmate would mean giving handjobs in the shower, but overall he's not disappointed.

hyungwon hangs his head, hands braced on the wall at changkyun's back, and writes a symphony in his ear.

changkyun works him over the way he's learned he likes, the way that will make him purr with contentment and sleep for more than four hours tonight. he holds on to hyungwon's bicep with his free hand and when he feels the minuscule jerks that hit before hyungwon comes, he drops to his knees and takes him in his mouth, hot and heavy.

hyungwon keens, and changkyun hums happily, kneading gently at his hips, waiting for his body to uncoil before swallowing and sliding him out of his mouth.

changkyun thinks he has the answer to his bridge after all. he stands, kisses hyungwon's cheeks, then the mole on his nose, and finally his mouth.

hyungwon turns the water off and holds him there, wet and naked and cold, thread dancing between them, and says, "kkukkungie, we should get a cat."

_ one year ago, january _

changkyun drops his cafeteria tray on the table with a thud and slides into the chair opposite jooheon with a grunt.

"good morning to you, too, sunshine."

"i’m running on two hours of sleep. nothing is good about this morning."

jooheon nods sympathetically, mouth turned upside down. "soulmate problems?" he asks.

"kihyun problems."

"ah," jooheon says, bobbing his head in understanding. "the one man i pray to never cross paths with again."

changkyun sighs. "also soulmate problems."

jooheon stops chewing and changkyun can practically see his ears perk up in excitement.

"or…" changkyun pauses to think about how to phrase it, absentmindedly running his thumb over his finger where the string would sit if hyungwon were nearby. "not _problems_ , but he came in late from practice. i was working, so i tried to grab my headphones to avoid disturbing him, but he stopped me? he wanted to hear what i was doing, and i was already so exhausted i let it play."

jooheon’s eyes widen. "you don’t even let _me_ hear what you’re working on."

"i know, but that’s not… he fell asleep."

jooheon puts his chopsticks down and sits back, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"leaning against my shoulder."

jooheon waits, and when changkyun doesn't offer more information he shakes his head and laughs quietly.

"i thought you were going to tell me you found out he was a fucking furry or something. jesus, changkyun. how is this a problem?"

changkyun takes an enormous bite of food to avoid answering and shrugs.

maybe it's not, but he feels like it is. isn't it weird? shouldn't he tell hyungwon about the thread so he knows what he's doing to changkyun's heart?

"look, you don't feel guilty about wearing his clothes," jooheon says pointedly, and changkyun is so sleep deprived that it's only then he realizes the hoodie he's wearing isn't his, "so why would you feel guilty about letting him sleep on you? he finally gets some rest, you get soulmate time, i fail to see why you're freaking out."

"i feel like i should tell him," changkyun says.

"oh, no, no, no. you definitely shouldn’t tell him," jooheon says emphatically, leaning forward again. "look, i think this is good. if you can work with him there, let him be there. it sounds like he’s starting to open up, but telling him might scare him."

changkyun’s phone buzzes on the table.

_ chae hyungwon _  
_hey u busy? need a favor_

changkyun swipes the message open and stares at it, chewing on his thumbnail for a moment before answering.

_ im changkyun _  
_lunch with joo what do u need_

_ chae hyungwon _  
_i forgot that usb with my practice audio that you tweaked for me. any chance u could bring it by the studio?_

"—angkyun? hello?"

changkyun blinks, looking up to find jooheon waving a hand in front of his face.

"i helped hyungwon with some audio and he forgot the usb when he went to practice," changkyung explains. he ignores any potential reaction from jooheon to dig in his bag, thanking every power in the universe when he finds a spare usb drive.

jooheon goes back to eating while he pulls his laptop out and transfers the files.

_ chae hyungwon _  
_it’s okay if u can’t i’ll live without it_

_ im changkyun _  
_no, sorry, it’s fine, found a spare usb in my bag so i don’t have to go home. omw._

"i have to run. sorry, man," changkyun says, palming the drive and sliding it in his pants pocket before shoving his laptop back into his bag. he’s reaching for his tray when jooheon stops him.

"i got it, changkyunnie," he says, smiling softly.

_ 9:14 pm, 14 january _

"a cat," changkyun repeats.

"yeah, you know, small mammal? pointy ears? fluffy tail? meows and likes chasing furry things?"

"wonnie…" changkyun starts, but hyungwon is looking at him with unadulterated hope in his eyes after delivering his description of a cat in rough syllables, courtesy of changkyun fucking his throat.

the bottom line is this: changkyun is _weak_ and mushy and would give hyungwon anything in the twenty minutes after he comes.

this is exploitation, plain and simple.

hyungwon rolls his eyes. "not right this second, obviously. tomorrow?"

"you did this on purpose," changkyun accuses, but he can’t stop the corner of his mouth from quirking up.

"i love blowing you and i want a cat. they’re two very separate things. it’s a chicken or egg scenario, really," he says, gently swaying them both to some song in his head. "or is it?" he wonders, "because you definitely came first."

changkyun groans and smacks hyungwon’s shoulder lightly, breaking free of his arms to get out of the shower while he laughs.

"we can go look," changkyun finally says, pulling a pair of sweatpants up over his hips, because of course they’re going to go look, because changkyun would figure out how to steal stars from the sky if hyungwon asked him to.

hyungwon’s face lights up. he steps out of the shower and approaches the sink where changkyun is pulling out his toothbrush, wrapping his arms around changkyun’s waist and resting his chin on his shoulder.

"thanks, baby," he says sincerely, pressing his lips against changkyun’s neck.

changkyun can count the number of times hyungwon has called him "baby" in the last two months on one hand. it only comes out when hyungwon is feeling especially sentimental, so this cat thing must mean more to him than he’s letting on.

changkyun turns and kisses his forehead. "wonnie, i love you, but could you not leave wet dick prints on my ass?"

_ one year ago, january _

the dance studio hyungwon practices in isn't far from the cafeteria. changkyun walks briskly, but doesn't let himself run, because there's no way it's urgent enough to warrant sweating. he's never been to the studio, but he can tell he's getting closer because his thread materializes around his finger and forms a convenient path along the ground in front of him.

he reaches the door, swings it open, and follows the thread down the hall. he can hear heavy breathing and shoes squeaking and loses himself in it, because it occurs to him he's never seen hyungwon dance before.

it doesn't occur to him that he has no logical, non-soulmate explanation for how he found hyungwon's exact location without asking.

the thread rounds a corner into a room and changkyun does, too, without thinking.

hyungwon is practicing steps in silence, head bowed, floating weightlessly across the floor, either hearing the music in his head or only focused on the count. changkyun has no idea how dancing works, but he stops just inside the door, awestruck. hyungwon turns and makes his way back in the opposite direction, the thread twisting around his feet. he does some sort of popping motion with his hips that draws changkyun’s attention away from his broad shoulders and directly to his ass before turning again.

after a few more seconds, he spins and it’s gorgeous, so unbelievably gorgeous changkyun can hardly process it. he looks up, then, staring directly at changkyun, and moves his hands across his abdomen jerkily, hitching his sweater up with each imaginary beat.

changkyun swallows hard and wonders how the hell he’s going to explain this to jooheon.

hyungwon drops his hands and his sweater follows, then he smiles and strides his way over to the door.

"um, sorry," changkyun offers. "i didn’t want to interrupt."

"it’s fine, i knew you were there from the beginning. stopped because i fucked up," he says.

if what he just watched had mistakes, changkyun can’t imagine what a flawless performance would look like or the havoc it would wreak on his libido.

"still, i’m sorry, shouldn’t have just stood there like a creep," he says, digging the usb drive out of his pocket and handing it over.

"you’re a lifesaver, thank you. you want to see it with music?"

changkyun does, badly, but he’s so fucking tired he’s afraid of what he might do or say if he has to witness hyungwon run his hand dangerously close to the obvious bulge in his pants.

again.

_with music._

"i need to go, but maybe later."

hyungwon shrugs, using his empty hand to push his hair off his forehead. he turns his back to changkyun, heading for the audio setup across the room, but then stops. "hey, how did you know where i was?" he asks.

"just got lucky, i guess," he replies dismissively, waving his hand in the air.

the thread forms a spiral next to them, taunting him, and changkyun wonders if maybe there is no thread at all. maybe he’s just going crazy. maybe it’s like those cartoon depictions of people with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, and the thread is his devil, following him around and trying to get him in trouble.

_ 10:08 am, 15 january _

chae hyungwon sees their thread, now, but he still doesn’t sleep like a normal person. changkyun’s presence is more or less required for him to get more than an hour or two at a time.

but something new they discovered is that changkyun can wake him, too, when most things can’t.

he scrolls through his emails and twitter mindlessly, using his right hand to rub circles into hyungwon’s back and shoulders, waiting for his touch to coax him back to consciousness.

changkyun _could_ just get up and leave hyungwon alone, but something about that seems terribly cold. he has, on more than one occasion, let himself be late to class rather than let his soulmate be jolted awake by his sudden disappearance.

he is, as jooheon would say, whipped.

"morning," hyungwon's voice rumbles.

changkyun locks his phone and sets it on his nightstand before rolling onto his side to face him.

"happy birthday, soulmate."

changkyun realized last night, when hyungwon fell asleep, that his boyfriend wanting a cat isn't the worst thing in the world, not by a longshot. he’s more of a dog person, but they have plenty of time to fill their lives with things to love — animals or children or plants or collectible pig figurines, if hyungwon wants them.

hyungwon smiles softly at him, reaching between them to grab his hand and squeezing it.

"does this soulmate thing work with animals, do you think?" he asks.

"i don’t think we’re going to find a cat with a red thread tied around her paw, if that’s what you’re asking."

hyungwon sticks his bottom lip out and shrugs. "i’ve never adopted an animal, i don’t know how it works."

changkyun has learned enough about hyungwon’s past to understand his apprehension. he still doesn’t have the full story, but only terrible things can so deeply convince people that love is an illusion that they don’t notice they’re living with their soulmate for an entire year.

"let’s just go to the shelter and look, noodle," changkyun tells him, leaning forward to drop a kiss on his nose when he scrunches it up at the nickname. "i know you want this, but we don’t have to rush it. i promise we’ll find one."

_ one year ago, january _

changkyun calls jooheon the second he’s clear of the studio.

"yo, kyunnie."

"i’m not going to tell him."

"okay?" jooheon replies. "why are you telling me— oh my god, you love him."

changkyun scoffs. "he’s my soulmate."

"yeah, but you _love_ him! you’d love him even if he wasn’t! you don’t want to tell him because you want him to fall for you!" jooheon screeches in his ear, putting the pieces together before changkyun even realizes there’s a puzzle to solve.

he looks down at his hand. he’s far enough away that the thread has disappeared, and he almost feels empty.

"i just don’t want to hurt him. the sleeping thing is weird, but i was at the studio and i watched him. he works really hard. if i can help him, i should."

"you watched him," jooheon repeats, easily finding the part of changkyun’s statement he doesn’t want to talk about. "how was that?"

"let's just say there's very little oxygen being delivered to my brain right now."

"aww, you love him _and_ want to nail him."

"what am i going to do if he never—" changkyun starts, letting sadness settle in his chest.

"be very unlike yourself and don't think about it, okay? soulmates are soulmates for a reason. it's going to work out."

changkyun sighs. "thanks, man. i’m back at the dorm, i’m going to take a nap. see you later?"

"text me when you wake up and we can grab dinner with minhyuk, if you want?"

"sounds good."

_ 1:26 pm, 15 january _

changkyun sets the new litter box, full of toys and food and cat treats and a small bag of litter, down on the kitchen counter and starts unpacking it.

what little they’re told growing up about soulmate science, it turns out, is inexact.

they walked around the shelter for almost an hour, looking inside walls of cages at cats of all ages, colors and fur types. it wasn’t until they were walking out and a worker was bringing a new cat in that hyungwon gasped, bringing his hand up to his face to find a small, white and black pawprint at the base of his thumb.

the worker wasn’t surprised and said that even though no one talks about it, she had seen it happen a couple of times before. animals aren’t usually fated to people, but sometimes the universe recognizes a match that might be overlooked and finds a way to kick people in the face.

hyungwon comes through the door with the carrier and changkyun smiles at the incessant, loud meowing coming from inside it.

hyungwon sets the carrier down and opens it. the meowing stops and a black and white head pops out before its owner hops out of the carrier, looks at them, and wanders off down the hall to explore.

changkyun laughs so hard he tears up and hyungwon looks at him like he’s lost his mind.

"i’m sorry, oh my god," he wheezes, dabbing at his eyes with his finger. "that’s exactly how you treated me for the first few weeks! he’s perfect for you!"

hyungwon shakes his head but leans against the counter and pulls changkyun towards him anyway, wrapping his arms loosely around changkyun’s hips and waiting for him to pull himself together.

"i love you, you know," changkyun finally tells him, reaching behind his back to remove hyungwon’s hand from his ass so he can look at the pawprint again. "i love him. i’d love a collection of frisbees if that’s what you decided you wanted."

hyungwon hums, then leans forward and captures changkyun’s lips in a kiss, their thread pulled taut between their clasped fingers and the sound of paws charging down the hall in their direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you follow me on twt you know i have a lot of feelings about [this old ass video](https://twitter.com/OfficialMonstaX/status/930095860494491649) of hyungwon with a cat on his lap, and [this picture](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EN925nxX4AI-P7X.jpg), and then recently changkyun gave us [this](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EN925n7XkAE2PRk.jpg), and really can anyone blame me for my actions here after that? at least i finished my lfb chapter before i let this crawl all the way in my brain.
> 
> i wrote the shower thing at 4 am and didn't really look it over after the fact so uh... apologies if it's horrible but thanks for reading pls if you know how i can get these nerds out of my head let me know because i'm Suffering.


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